Thursday, June 4, 2009
How do you communicate with family and friends about your cancer?
I knew from that very first day that I would be too emotional trying to tell all my family and friends face to face, or even on the phone. I was also concerned that when I told them about cancer, I would be dealing not only with MY emotions, but also with THEIR reactions. I didn't want to have to be the strong one. Even more than that, I didn't want to get the pity looks - "I'm so sorry...."
But what else are they going to say? I think part of the reason some people avoid you when you have cancer is that they don't know what in the world to say or do that won't seem totally inadequate. What do you think about this?
What I WANTED them to say was something positive and encouraging. The easiest ways I could find to get that kind of support from them would be to either A) Ask them (very hard for me); or B) Role model the behavior I wanted from them.
I took the easy path and started sending them emails. I started with an email that in essence said, "I have cancer, but the good news is that they caught it early." It worked! By the time thse loved ones responded, they had gotten over the shock, and they responded in an upbeat and encouraging way. This way I could come back home and check my emails and look for encouraging messages, instead of having what would be for me a long series of emotionally draining phone calls. If you want to read the emails I wrote to them, go to http://dannscancerchronicles.blogspot.com/.
There are a lot of other ways to deal with loved ones. What did YOU do, and did it work the way you wanted?
But what else are they going to say? I think part of the reason some people avoid you when you have cancer is that they don't know what in the world to say or do that won't seem totally inadequate. What do you think about this?
What I WANTED them to say was something positive and encouraging. The easiest ways I could find to get that kind of support from them would be to either A) Ask them (very hard for me); or B) Role model the behavior I wanted from them.
I took the easy path and started sending them emails. I started with an email that in essence said, "I have cancer, but the good news is that they caught it early." It worked! By the time thse loved ones responded, they had gotten over the shock, and they responded in an upbeat and encouraging way. This way I could come back home and check my emails and look for encouraging messages, instead of having what would be for me a long series of emotionally draining phone calls. If you want to read the emails I wrote to them, go to http://dannscancerchronicles.blogspot.com/.
There are a lot of other ways to deal with loved ones. What did YOU do, and did it work the way you wanted?
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